What are we saying?

An abused child would rather do anything than admit to herself that she was the victim of her own mother.

Abused? Has it been established that she was abused? How, and by what actions? Who can say what Jessie really feels? I think she would be the first and best authority. She even had help with her drinking problem and hasn't come out blaming. I guess no therapist was feeding her "you've been a victim and you don't know it" bullshit. Some people are really abused, it seems a shame to assume we know what really went on with the Manns. I wonder what abuse you mean?

Look at these statements:

Mom is a very driven person, and really has little understanding of people who aren't that driven.

As a result of her upbringing, Mom's a little reserved. She isn't touchy-affectionate. She has a hard time letting us know how much she loves us. But I've also realized that each one of those photographs ws her way of captureing, somehow -- if not in a hug or a kiss or a comment -- how much she cared about us, but obviously didn't have the ability to show us.

"Well, what if the photos hadn't been there?" I know, no matter what, there would have been an amazing strain on my relationship with Mom. We're very similar -- it's just the way we are made up. There was no way we were going to live together compatibly!

That sounds like a typical American dysfunctional family to me. Not really abuse. Maybe one could make a case of emotional abuse. But the funny thing is the photography is described like this:

Each one of those photographs is an affirmation of love. To me, it seems like she's overwhelmed with this feeilng of love and she doens't know what to do with it, so she photographs it.

Jessie's admission her mother was unaffectionate and "cold"

It is sad that Sally Mann couldn't be more physical with her children, isn't it? If that is what you meant by abusive, then I might agree only somewhat. The attitude that we can't touch our children can be harmful. But not what I'd call abuse, unless one NEVER touched one's child. But that doesn't seem to be the abuse most are fighting right now. If anything the CAs seem to want LESS touching by anyone of children.

her admission that they hardly speak now

Seems like they're doing better now, not hardly speaking:

I'm grateful to have a good relationship with my mother for the first time since I was a child...

Anyway, Jon, seems we might agree on some things, like we shouldn't be cold unaffectionate parents. I dunno, you don't allude much on what you really mean, maybe if you better explained yourself, I could better agree or disagree with you.

One thing is for sure, Jessie Mann has had an interesting childhood.

Mi Ra Cle