just stop it already!

.. no, that was for me ..

i should just stop it already...

i got to thinking (all these posts start out with that... thinking is dangerous, just ask king george III ... those damn colonists started thinking... see what happened then?)

anyway, here's what i was thinking .. it's really not a huge leap in thought, but, aparently, it took me some time to stumble across it's reasoning ..

hetrosexuals do not question their sexuality

so, why should *i* question my own? hmm?

i shouldnt, there's no need ...

can i? yes, i have been

but, far better, to ask questions about it .. it leads me to know more about myself, and that's always a good thing ..

was it aristotle, or socratese that said "know thy self?" ... asking yourself questions to gain understanding is a Good Thing(tm) ..

but questioning yourself is not.

my sexuality is a part of me, why question it?

seems simple enough, right? .. then why havnt i been doing that? why have i been trying to constantly break down this mongolian cluster fuck of a problem? (sorry if i offended any mongolians, really, it's a beautiful place, i've heard) ... why.. even, do i call it a problem? just there? i called my sexuality a problem .. why?

i'll tell you why!

i've been mind-fucked, and brain washed by society ... oh, i dont say this much, beacuse i feel that anyone who does blame society, or 'them', as it were ... for their problems, is probably well on their way to a visit to the funny farm .. HOWEVER! .. in this case, it is true ..

somethin' i am (pedo, or teen GL'r[even if they ARE obnoxious]) has been ridiculed, questioned, belittled, persicuted, trampled upon, beat down and PUNISHED for far too long for me to excape the stigma attached to it ..

it would be like being a black in the north durring the 1850's ...everyone thinks they know what you are, or should be.... but they havnt a clue (not exactly like it, but, u get the drift) ...

SO .. what ever shall i do?

1. admit there's a problem (this is the biggest step?)
2. find the causes of the problem (there may be more than the self aparent ones)
3. remove, modify, change, or make those causes pay! lol (tho i'm sure they have no money, being.. causes... and all)
4. spread the word.
5. die happily ever after. (which, i'm sure would please the anti's to no end)

now, removing or changing the causes, may only mean breaking down their effects in my head, and not actually going out a changing the world .. i'm not one of those people (remo, otoh, is)

spreading the word .. is what i'm doing right now .. and may do later (oh, i have plans, but will i do them? will i?)

and the dying part takes care of itself, the happy part, well, it takes some work ..

SO .. do YOU question your sexuality? why? why not? if you have, are there any answers that popped into your head? what are they? care to share?

have i totaly lost my mind?

~M~