first, let me say... french is hard to learn .. lol.. i imagine english is just as hard... eh?
first question .. am i happy to be a pedophile?

the honest answer is i think i would be a lot happier if i were 'normal' and not attracted to girls ... my attraction only goes down to about 10ish, so, no, i dont think a 4 year old is sexy, nor do i think of them as very sexual (curious, sure, but sexual, not so much). That is not to say that i hate being a MAA--there are tremendous upsides to it.

do i have any mental health problems? no. none.

i dont believe my being a MAA is in anyway a choice. if it were, i would not have chosen it. Soceity doesnt understand MAA's--of my higher AoA, or the lower AoA's.

the hypothetical world where a 10 year old and an 18 year old dated... no i would not feel at home in that world. i often joke that i was born on the wrong planet, and mine is the one out there were a 28 year old guy falls madly in love with a 12 year old and gets to marry her... but... truth is, i would probably be uncomfortable in that world as much as this one, because like it or not i've been socilized to believe things--and i dont know if i'm past them, or if i even ought to be--there are some things one should not accept, and i havnt decided where my 'line in the sand' is regarding sexual relationship with minors--i'm not sure participating in one is for the best ... ya know?

do i think of people under 18 as adults ... simple answer is no.

more complex answer is that i think everyone is a child, to one degree or another. i know that i am in my late 20's on the outside, but inside i'm 15 going on 55 ... ya know? some of the most mature, responcible, and intligent people i've ever met have been under 18 .. and some of the stupidest, most backward and useless people i've ever met have been twice my age ...

did i lose part of myself as i've grown older? i dont know if i've lost anything ... life, to me, seems more like layers .. a huge book, when you're born the first page is turned... and after a while, the pages start to lean over, you know? so you can see a larger and larger part of the page underneath the one you're on now ... i can still remember and feel and understand tiny parts of what i was like then... but, as i go further in the book--those parts of the pages hanging out are getting smaller--eventually they could vanish... but i'd still be the same person, and all those experiences are still in that book somehwere... just not .. useable...

am i old? i'm old if the person asking is 10, lol... if the person asking is 50, they would laugh if i said i was old. i'm neither old or young... i just am... i'm a fairly adaptable person. the only age group i cant seem to stand is my own ;)

and i FEEL like a good person, and other people tell me so, so there must be something to it--they wouldnt lie to me would they? ;-)

~M~