Re: are you happy with yourself? (and.. more)

No, I'm not really a happy person. I haven't accomplished many goals I set for myself and am generally pretty depressed about that. Honestly, being a pseudo-ephebophile is only a minor addition to that, since even if it were acceptable I probably wouldn't do it anyway being rather reserved and unconfident. While I dated a 13yo when I was 16, and a 15yo when I was 17, I think that was about it. Then I dated some 23yo when I was 18 and haven't dated since. Actually, these are misleading, I only went on one date with each then ended, bah.

I don't know how low I go, or if I actually go low at all. So far, I say I go as low as 14 because that's the legal limit in Canada. Any less, I wouldn't feel comfortable pursuing it so I wouldn't really be able to find out if it was right for me. I do think I'd be fine with 8-13 though, honestly. But even at 13 with a willing nubile girl who wanted me to come over I just couldn't do it. I'm the sort of person who runs back to wait for the police arrive after causing a public disturbance even though it's so minor it wouldn't have been pursued and I could have easily gotten away.

If I did meet a couple where one was under AoA, I would pretend not to notice anything, basically. If it doesn't look abusive, even if it were a crime I wouldn't think it was. There are no good samaratin laws, and not reporting something is not being a co-conspirator. On the other hand, if I saw an abusive relationship, underage or not, then I'd hope I'd have the guts to help I guess.

I try to carry on adult conversations with everyone, but then I also like to talk about a lot of childish things. So if I like to talk about Narnia or Ruby Gloom or whatever to adults, I'm not going to start talking about quantum physics to third graders just to prove I think equally of them. In fact, I do, but most adults don't get a lot of the advanced topics anyway. I will bridge with progressively advanced ideas and when people seem uncomprehending, uninterested, etc then you slow down and go to easier methods and issues to communicate about.

I don't really define people as good or evil, but I consider myself good I guess. I abide the law, I don't steal, I don't hurt people, I try to be nice to people and not inconveniance them, so I guess that's good.