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I see your original post got quite a few replies. As you can see, people have lots of different ways of looking at things here. It looks like some people chose to be a bit belligerent in responding to you; I'm not sure why. It's not as if you deserve all the blame simply for believing ideas that are pretty common about us, whether they be completely accurate or not. Nor is it as if we're in any position to be arrogant and hostile rather than thankful when someone shows up here like you have. Most of us here are lucky to have a handful of people in the real world who we can be honest with about one of the must fundamental aspects of our personhood, our sexual orientation. You have to understand that that's simply what our lives are like. I myself am always thankful when someone's willing to listen, even if it's just some faceless name on a message board like this. My point is, sorry that some people were assholes to you. ;-) I really don't understand why people get caught up in internet drama to begin with. But the idea that someone in the position we're in would essentially tell you to shove it--that I really don't understand. I suppose they prefer to sit around and continue to engage in whatever ultimately trivial discussion it is we're having among ourselves rather than connecting to someone outside who's willing to listen. That, and some people just like to stir the pot. Just to respond to one thing you said, not all of us here are men. Some are teenagers, some were teenagers not long ago. Some people here are even female. There was actually a poster around here not so long ago who considered herself both a lesbian and a girllover. So there ya go. It takes all kinds and all that. Oh, and you're not stupid, you had simply only heard one side of the story before. And you don't have to accept "our side" uncritically, either; you have to draw your own conclusions. But you know that. As for your last point, kea probably responded to it better than I could (I hope you'll read his reply). But I agree with him that it's more about being a mentor to a young girl than it is expecting an adult "give and take" sort of relationship. To act as if I'm owed anything from someone who herself is still learning how the world works would be selfish and exploitative of me. I simply enjoy being a part of helping them learn and grow; that's what I get out of it. I've always felt that the pedophile is the one who should and does bear most of the emotional burden of the relationship. Because at some point, the young person is probably going to decide they feel they don't need their adult friend as much as they used to. And at that point, there's nothing you can do but let them fly. Anyway, glad you're sticking around; take care =) |