getting to know my lgf

Today we went out to a mall in a different town for her bday. So much fun. I bought her a dress, shoes, and some earings (she picked those) and some makeup . we went to a nice restaurant and she ate like there was no tommorrow. followed by a walk in public holding hands(bliss). we went back to the apt. and she modeled the outfit for me. She was positively radiant. Now here's where things get interesting. She wore the dress around the apt for a while and then she went into my bedroom, changed and hung her new duds in my closet like they belonged there. During all this, her mom was getting drunk with some of her dumbass friends. A real piece of work. Anyhow, we sat and listened to some of my very extensive music colection, This is where she discovered to my delight, The smashing pumpkins (one of my favorite bands). She has a little silver ipod, so I put as much of the pumpkins on it as i could get in there. She was completely taken by the lyrics and the virtuoso guitar stylings. I do believe this girl is much deeper than I imagined. We searched out some pics of the band in action aand looked their fansites. Her on my lap and me, watching as she expanded her musical outlook. After that we sat down in the livingroom and I spoke to her of my other lgf that had passed away in very similar circumstances to another of the members here. I spoke in very gentle terms about her and I. I also explained to her that if she had any misgivings about our situation that she should think about us just being friends. She agreed and said she should probably go home. She left without so much as a hug, just a goodnight. I felt like I just kicked a puppy. Now, I know I did the right thing. I had to even the playing field in order to maintain our mutual respect for eachother. I went into my room, opened my closet and sat there looking in. blazer, ski jacket, jeans, little dress...What do I do now, I thought. Did I just lose her to a very well thought out rationalization? We had never done more than a hug and snuggle with one very real kiss. It should be easy right? By that time I had even shed a tear. About an hour had gone by and I noticed that she had left her earphones on the coffee table. I grabbed them and went to the door. I was going to hang them on their front door handle. There she was, looking as morose as I was feeling. I thought maybe her mom wouldn't let her in or had yelled at her, or something to that extent. She came in and held my hand and just looked up at me. A very serious and complex look. She then asked me never to hurt her like that again. I just simply agreed. I almost gave her whiplash scooping her up so fast. We spent an hour just sitting together joking around and chatting. She fell asleep on the couch, so I went over to her mom's apt. The door was unlocked and no one was there. Typical. Well that's me. Man I'm in love.

p.s Oh and by the way. I won't tell you her name but she looks strikingly like punky brewster, pony tails and all, and hazel eyes. very petite hands and feet.