And to paint the picture

Penelope (not her real name of course!) is a beautiful girl.

Long flowing brown hair that forms into curls at the ends that stretch down to just beyond her shoulders. Streaks of blonde scatter the brown, dyed from the sun. And deep blue eyes that peer out from her brown locks, but beware! Those eyes *always* have a mischevious air about them, telling me this one is dangerous.

She is pudgy, but in a good way; she is not 'fat'; she just carries extra weight, but it adds to her beauty.

I made a mistake. Where once her beauty drew me in, I recognized her lack of parentship and was more than happy to step in. Now, after caring for her for more that a year; helping her with homework after school, and feeding her....I have taken the role of caregiver and I cannot feel romantic attration to her. The mistake being I love her in a way that I cannot feel romance or sex for her any longer.

Gah!

we live with such an oxymoronic trait. When we give them our all, we rise above our romantic and sexual attraction. The catch being we still want those attractions, but they elude us because our hearts provide them with what they need most, ignoring our desires. And I wish I could feel the attraction...
Especially when she taunts me! DAILY!

Ah well. Her presence is enough to warm my heart for a short time. And the warmth comes from the love that she returns. She will never admit, but you can see it in her actions, in her eyes. It is a love of thankfulness and need fulfilled.

And while I am ranting might as well express my despair. And it really is silly, I know. This weekend I am surrounded by a dozen girls from the ages of 9 to 15, all friends of my 3 daughters. And yet, while I truly enjoy each and every one of them, their presence makes the absence of the one missing all that more obvious. None of them can compare to Emma...

Oh! Look! The smiley face gift!!
=)
...sigh...
Life is so cruel. Had her father not moved her away she would be one of these girls......And we all know that no one can compare to the few girls that touch is in a special way that can't be described by words.

=)
There's that pic again...

Going to go make breakfast for a handful of girls! They all call me Mr. P and I love the attention! (although I HATE the Mr.)

:)