Do you enjoy being a victim?

Buddy I have to be hard like this not out of spite but because I've been on the same emotional ride without realizing the brake was in front of me the whole time. But it takes strength to pull that brake, and all of the *hugs* and pats on the shoulder and hang in theres will NEVER give you the strength you need.

But its easy to feel comforted in sorrow instead of experiencing pain in perseverance. When I first started driving last year and had so many problems adjusting to life on the road and learning how to drive a truck, one of the senior drivers laid it real to me: you can be beefcake or babycake. Babycake is sweet but soft and goes great with emotions. Beefcake is harder to cook but good for tired muscles. For me I had to give up being soft or else I would be crippled with knee pain and possible diabetes (my aunt died last year from diabetes), and work my ass out of the physical and emotional hole that society and my family loved to no end. If I am bragging its because I will NOT apologize for being happy.

To digress, you can continue waste your time here and cry about your plummets. Or be dead serious about my advice and take your girls someplace where they can see you put some hair on your chest. You need to stop being a "GL" for while because obviously the meaning of love or commitment had eluded you, and your guilt and incessant greed for soothing is only going to make you a soft old man before your time. Right now you need to forgo your inhibitions and be a MAN. Go rock climbing, electric bull riding, or even that prison fighting championship, at least learn what bravery is and earn the respect of those who have entrusted YOU as their source of protection.

You don't need us, you need YOURSELF.