Re: Conrfessions and Lamentations

Hi ShadowDweller, I have never responded to any of your posts before because while I sympathize with anyone in poor mental health I honestly don't know if thier is anything that I can do to help you specifically. That being said I know feel that I have to make an effort to at least say something but I do not know how useful it will be.

As far as your alcoholism goes...I am blessed with a natural defence mechanism against alcoholism...I such a poor ability to tolerate alcohol that I will get a nasty hangover IF I DRINK MORE THAN ONE BEER! I also do not have any friends or family that are alcoholics (which considering my family's Irish origins is quite something). So unfortunately there is just nothing I can really say with regards to your drinking problem because I cannot relate to it at all and have no experiences with which I could share with you. As the saying goes one pair of hands in action will acomplish more than a thousand pairs of hands clasped in prayer but unfortunately a prayer is all I can really give you.

I feel like shit sometimes and have had bouts of self pity in the past but I have never had anything that could be described as a clinical grade depression...but I have had to deal with other types of serious mental health issues such as OCD and severe anxiety. In my case cognitive behavior therapy targeting OCD helped me a great deal which is why I am partial to recommending that you at least TRY some sort of professional help. From what I understand about depression it can have both environmental and bio-chemical causes and this might be yet another incentive for you to seek professional help. You might also want to start working out (if you don't already), make sure that you are spending enough time out in the sun (to make sure you are getting enough vitamin D, it has been suggested that depression may be linked to Vitamin D deficiency) may and that you are getting enough sleep. I have personally found that ensuring adequate sleep can do wonders for my mental health such as reducing anxiety levels, moodiness and even obsessive thinking!

As far as your despair over the fact that you cannot act out on your romantic/sexual desires...I don't want to sound insensitive but...lots of people can't do that, including most of the people posting on this board. And it is not just MAAs that have this problem, people practising certain religions are not allowed to date/marry outside of it (and although inter-interreligious relationships are not illegal the West, Eternal Damnation can be JUST A TAD more frightening than a jail sentence). People who are extremely unattractive or who have severe social impairments (like me) are also not likely to be able to ever have any relationships either (though admittedly they do have a certain ability to improve their situation by increasing thier attractiveness or social skills. While you are not going to be able to singlehandedly change legal and cultural attitudes towards Adult/Minor Relationships anytime soon, you CAN do something about how you mentally deal with your situation...You have to learn to stop linking so much of your happiness and self-worth to the success of your romantic/sexual life. You have to stop being so needy with regards to Girls/Women and Love and Sex. Quite frankly I don't think that you should even try to get a Girlfriend unitl you learn to stop being so needy because: 1) you are probably going to fall harder if it does not work out 2) you are going to place an unfair burden on her by linking so much of your well being on being with her 3) your neediness is going to repel women away from you anyway. I have said these things many times on Girl Chat before but in this instance I think I should say them again. BTW I have NEVER had a Girlfriend, nor have I been on a single date but I am not depressed over it (but I used to feel sorry for myself a while back), I think the difference between my situation and yours is that I have learned to not be dependent on Love/Sex/Girls/Women to be happy...and sorry but it looks like you have not.

Anyway I wish you all the best on your road to improve your unfortunate situation.