Re: Lamentations on my pre-girlchat days.

I started realizing that I was attracted to young girls about 4 or 5 years ago due to a few pin-point events in my time line. Growing up I was only ever shown that pedophiles were demonized and shunned, especially in the media. Because of this, at times, I thought of myself as some kind of monster and it was even harder to deal with because it's something that wasn't exactly a choice. I've also been involved in some long term relationships over that time and still am, making me tend to lock it away for fear of judgement or general feelings of upset by my significant other(s).

It took me until sometime last year to realize that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Not exactly something to shout from the rooftops, but certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Since then I've been focusing and tuning in on my pedosexuality to help me better understand it. I still battle paranoid feelings and social fears, which are not all related to me being a GL, but it often bleeds over into a confusing mix (i.e. "are these people spying on me or do they know I'm a pedo?"), but at the age of 20 theres no way that I know everything about myself yet.

Finding this site about a month ago was great for me and continues to be so. I never knew that I would find a place like this and I'm glad that I did. Acceptance and understanding is wonderful.