The 'P' word came up with my new friends

Hey, guys,

As I have said on this board before I recently made a new friend who I am now getting really close to. She is a lesbian and she says she is open-minded. I will call her Nancy. Since we've only been friends for a few months now, I have yet to come out to her as a hebephile (I remember how nervous Nancy was about coming out to me as a lesbian). We all know that even many gays and lesbians are very anti and that it takes a special kind of open-mindedness to accept an MAA. On the other hand, experience has shown me that once some people get to know me well and see that I'm not a bad person and that I make a very good friend, they are more or less accepting of my attraction to teen girls. Nevertheless, I am both happy and nervous whenever I make new friends because I always worry that those new friends will turn out to be very anti. The fact that my new close friend is a lesbian doesn't make me feel any safer about coming out. The fact remains, however, that I am not ashamed of my attraction to teen girls and I do not consider it a secret. With that said, let me get to the story.

Since making friends with Nancy I have since met one of her friends, who I will call Jenny. Jenny is a bisexual woman who has went out of her way to treat me as a friend. She has made me feel really welcome in her house and I appreciate how nice she has been to me (she even offered to invite me over for a big dinner she is cooking herself, a very sweet thing to do). Now let me get to what is bothering me.

Today I went out with Nancy and she took me to Jenny's house. While we were waiting in the car for Jenny to come outside, I noticed there were several kids playing around the houses, and a few of them were playing soccer in the street. Just then I noticed a very pretty teen girl of about 12-13 years old kicking around the soccer ball. I noted to myself that I really wish I could be 25 years younger, and I made sure that Nancy didn't see me admiring the girl. Then, Jenny came out of her house, introduced me to one of her relatives, and then pointed to that pretty 13 year old girl and said, "Oh, yea, and this is my daughter..." Shit, I said to myself. Wonderful. Now Jenny has a perfectly good reason to hate me once I come out to her :( Luckily, her daughter doesn't currently live with her. How is Jenny going to accept me? She told me earlier today that she never discriminates against anyone based on race or sexual orientation...but how far does this open-mindedness go? Does it stop where MAA's are concerned? And she has a teen daughter that I already thought was cute (before I realized she was Jenny's daughter)...I felt really awful and I am really worried that I may lose this woman as a friend, or she may think I'm a threat of some sort to her daughter :( I can explain to her that I do not break the laws and that I would never hit on her daughter, which is true, but we all know how the media claims that MAA's have no self-control and that most of us break the law (both of which are patently UNTRUE). But there is more to this story...

Later in the evening, we were sitting and talking, and playing a game of Mad Libs (which is quite fun if you are creative enough). For one of the pages we put a lot of sexual innuendos in the blank spaces...and Nancy told us that the letter we ad-libbed on was a notice of instructions to a babysitter. Jenny then laughed and said, "Geez, this makes us all look like a bunch of pedophiles!" I laughed along with the two of them, of course, but I also melted on the inside. Does Jenny assume that just because I'm a decent person that there is no possible way I can be an MAA? If she didn't assume this, then why would she make the pedo crack? She should know that the word is often used by the media to describe any adult who is attracted to people under 18. It really hurt me to think that she believes I can't possibly be attracted to minors simply because I come off to her as a decent person. I wanted to come out then and there, but I thought better of it and figured that this was not the right time.

Jenny also has a 7 year old daughter (who wasn't there tonight) and I worry that she may also think I'll try to hurt her youngest daughter once I come out to her. Further, Nancy has a 9 year old goddaughter that she is really fond of, and I worry about how she will react to the news that I'm a hebephile (a 9 year old isn't in my AoA, but she will be in a few short years).

As I said above, I really appreciate Nancy's friendship and I'm glad that we are becoming close. I likewise appreciate the fact that Jenny enjoys hanging out with me and has reached her hand out in friendship to me. I love making new friends. But I think it's just awful that she happens to have a daughter that I think is very pretty, and she already seems to be assuming that I'm not attracted to minors just because I come off as a good person to her. I really worry about losing my friends once I come out to them. I am considering coming out to them little by little, rather than having a talk with them and spilling the proverbial beans all at once. I don't want them to think that I'm some sort of threat to Jenny's daughters or Nancy's goddaughter.

Thank you for reading my nervous ramblings and I'm glad that I have a place to go where I can get these fears off of my chest. Thank you ahead of time to anyone who responds...I could really use the support.