Permanent solution to temporary problems...

You my friend, was just like me 15 years ago. I had things in my life that I had no control over:

homeless---at least you have a place to stay

parentless-- both parents gone..died

shunned by family--I was the blacksheep (bah!)

no monies

no food

strung out on drugs (this I had control over, but at the time I didn't think I did)

and then...I had a epiphany, one day while I was at a church feeding (where they actually feed and clothe you) I was talking to the preacher, and he said something that changed my life forever.

"Spike, you have so many excuses why have you failed, do you have any excuses that will help you succeed?"

Hmmm...it woke something up in me, there was no "Jesus" moment (though I had that a few years later) there was no "I saw the light" moment, but it just woke me up on the inside, and I decided to take action. To take control of my life at the point. I put aside all the excuses that I had and chose to do the right things to get me back up on my feet. I took the resources available to me, and there wasn't a lot I can tell you, but I took them and used them to my advantage. From wallowing in my own self pity, I gave myself self esteem. I went from feeling sorry for myself, and started to feel proud of myself. Instead of using excuses to keep myself down, I used those same excuses why I couldn't fail, I drove myself until I had a job, kicked my drug habit (I did it on my own, it wasn't easy and I STILL struggle with it to this day) took advantage of certain situations to help myself without hurting anyone, and just took over my life. The thoughts of suicide has not entered my head in these past 12 years, I've been to busy getting myself on my feet, and now I'm too busy to even think about it.

Final Summation: Suicide is a permanent solution to your temporary problems, don't think about suicide, think about how you can take control of your situation with the resources that you have, and lay aside the excuses that you have, and use them so that you won't fail.