Re: Intergenerational Friendships--good or bad idea?

I don't really have any experience in this area, but I would have to give a qualified "good." Certainly it would be a bad idea for anyone who is "out," either by choice or by conviction. And certainly one must tread extremely carefully. As we see from the "Dear Abby" column, even something that may seem completely innocent to both parties can result in suspicion. And we know what suspicion can result in. I would even go as far as to recommend against "seeking out" intergenerational friendships. Any action that could be seen as intentionally trying to form such a friendship is likely to cause suspicion.

As bleak as that looks, I still see an important place for such friendships. They have the potential to greatly benefit both the child and the adult, and I think they can work, as long as you have a "legitimate reason" for interacting with the child regularly. "Genetic cover"- e.g. "he's my cousin's son" or "she's my best friend's daughter" - can probably go a long way here. An important note is that the interests of the child must always come first. Any sort of coming out or overt activism should probably be avoided, and great care must be taken to avoid anything that could be misinterpreted.

As an interesting side note, I once read an advice column (might have even been Dear Abby) that recommended seeking out and building intergenerational friendships. Of course, they were talking about the middle-aged people making friends with the elderly, but I found most of the reasons applied equally to relationships between adults and young people.