You love being a victim don't you?

IMO your problem isn't pedophilia but your feelings of rejection by society.

Trust me buddy I've been there. Being 350 lbs at one time was an example. The first run is ALWAYS the hardest despite how cliched that sounds. But I damn sure wasn't going to be found dead in a hotel room from a heart attack just because some mental health "experts" and some silly computer geeks wanking off to CP while espousing hate towards pedophiles wanted the big horse laugh over seeing a dead fat pervert.

You CAN do this.