A course in self-actualization...

Now, I know that you are all very keen to to find mystic knowledge, and I'm able to help you.

Ok, so the first thing you need to do, is find yourself a nice, clean, Karma free environment. In front of your computer keyboard will be just fine.

You there yet? Hey, that's ok. Just fidget in that chair till you're comfy.

I'm guessing you're comfy right now, so we'll begin.

Start by putting both of your index fingers into your ears - right in, otherwise the 'healing' can't work.

Right, now you've done that and blocked out any extra-sensory feeling, chant the following mantra:

'La, la, la, la, la, I just can't see any sense'.

Repeat that mantra over and over, until you are nearly in a comatose state. Trust me, it won't take that long...

Once in that unthinking, trance-like state, hook in to any any website of your choice that has a 'comments' page.

Remember, all the while you are in your trance, you have cosmic powers, and you are untouchable. It doesn't matter at all, if what you write makes no sense to anyone whatsoever - all that counts is what you write, 'cos after all, you can never be wrong.

Now that you're tapping away at your keyboard, type something degrotary or generally nasty about any 'out' group of people that you think will win you popular acceptance, thereby giving you a disproportionate sense of power and self esteem.

This feeling of well-being won't last long, but once the effects of smugness have passed, do this exercise over again, liberally if necessary.

If you have followed my instructions carefully, congratulations - you have now entered the world of the anti's...

T.