Re: it's not a rationale

Wow. Now I am impressed. Because he is a lying, malicious, two-faced POS if I have ever heard of one.

Take that as a compliment, which is how it is intended. Vachss would certainly make my top ten scum-of-the-earth list, and for you to go from someone in the vein of him to who you are now is an amazing transformation. Cheers to you.

Oh, I quite agree. To be fair, it was quite a long time ago during my teen years. It was, at least in part, an overcompensation. I knew I was an MAP deep down but I was also in denial about it and I used that as a kind of shield. Ironically (or maybe not) it was during that period that I came closest to acting out. That's how I know that repression and denial are, at best, ineffective. But also, it's why I suspect most hardcore antis (at least the male ones) are actually repressed peds, and I'm almost certain Vachss is. Even in his fiction he often lingered on the descriptions of abuse just a little too long.