slightly different

In baseball (and cricket), every player gets an equal turn at the bat.
This makes it so that, independently of their abilities when fielding, it's always best that everyone try to score when batting, and it always helps the team when they score.

In soccer and generally in team sports with a form of goal, realistically, they don't all get an equal chance to score. And this causes that sometimes someone trying to score is worse for the team, compared to retaining or passing the ball.

So in baseball and cricket, thus, selfish and team incentives are perfectly aligned. In soccer and the rest, they are not.

But the coach of 4yo's is exaggerating, or ignorant of child development. Of course 4yo's are always going to want to score even at expense of the team. This has nothing to do with being over-competitive and everything to do with them being 4yo. They see the achievement of scoring and want it for themselves, but are still not equally aware of the merits of team work and of winning as a team so they have a harder time letting another take the merit. Every 4yo will do that, whatever they are exposed to.