GirlChat #541560

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Since we're getting things off our chest . . .

Posted by Markaba on 2011-October-14 23:48:48 EDT, Friday
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. . . I want to say that I hate masculinity. I kind of realized this before, but it really sunk home today in a discussion about jewelry. I like jewelry even though I don't own a lot of it (too expensive)--I like it because to me it softens masculinity. I like pink and have a lot of it in my wardrobe. I also said the main reason I'm not a cross-dresser is because I don't think I could pull it off aesthetically; if I thought I could I probably would, at least sometimes. The other reason is I'm not gay and don't want anyone to think I am. Besides, I live in the rural South, and I have enough problems just being who I am without flaunting the fact in these rednecks' faces.

This is not to say that i hate men in general, but there is a type of male I dislike instantly and profoundly--they actually repulse me, in fact. That is the macho male. You know the kind: they squint their eyes and walk with their fists clinched, as if they're about to get in a fight any minute. They have exactly two emotional gears: stoic and pissed. They think it's wussy to tell their wives or girlfriends they love them, and sometimes their kids (especially sons.) They won't talk about anything that they feel is too feminine. They're often loud and abrasive. They're the school bully or the obnoxious coach. Honestly, I detest them. I have absolutely no use for them at all, never have.

The problem is, there's a bit of that in most males, and it tends to alienate me from potential male friends. Most of my friends then are females, and I believe the world would be much better if women ruled everything. Masculinity breeds patriarchal thinking, which is abominable to me. It makes my blood boil. It's not healthy, I know, but it is what it is.

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