Nervousness about your "inappropriate" attraction to young girls being discovered by those in your life whom you want separated from this aspect of it entirely is natural. No need to beat yourself up over it with the anxiety club, my friend.

That is one of the reasons why, as soon as I fully realized I was a hebephile in my mid-20s, I made the decision not to go in the closet in the first place. I don't walk around with a neon sign on my shirt declaring my attractions to the world, of course, but I have never hidden the fact from close friends and family members. Being an "out" MAA has worked for me, since I do not live with that angst-inducing, omnipresent fear of being discovered, and I don't walk around feeling as if this natural and wonderful part of my overall being is some type of "dirty little secret" or "skeleton in the closet" I have to carry around with me at all times. Of course, I am not suggesting that you should take this route yourself, as unlike me, the people in your life may not readily expect unusual things from you.

I think you should just look at it this way. Your admiration for young girls allows you to see them in a way that is special, not deviant or monstrous. The way people may react to it in this society is due to widespread ignorance, including a pervasive lack of respect for the qualities of girls on all levels that you have a natural appreciation for (e.g., their intelligence, their natural creativity, their unique and beautiful way of viewing the world, the smile-inducing energy they exude while just being themselves and enjoying life, etc.). Again, this makes you special, not evil. You are clearly a good person whose main desire is to enjoy life and make a positive contribution to the world, and your attractions do not in any way make you a fundamentally different person than those in your offline life who love and respect you believe you to be now.

I think it's great that you have gotten over your nervousness enough to post on the two major GL boards these past few months, because you are a fine example of an MAA, and our community needs people like you to have their words and feelings displayed for the public eye. None of us are inherently better than anyone else who is not an MAA, of course, but being one in today's cultural milieu allows us to see the world from a unique perspective. Because of that, despite all the horrifying and life-draining stigma we have to deal with on a daily basis--not to mention the fear on so many levels--our unique perspective in today's society makes every one of us very important to the social progress of tolerance and understanding in the world.

Further, never forget that each and every youth libber in this world is a vitally important resource in favor of emancipating younger people from their third class citizen status in the future.

I'm proud to share a community with you, and those who are proud to know you in real life have no intrinsic reason to be less proud of you than they undoubtedly are simply because of your admiration for girls.