Please understand that this is intended as a post for support despite the fact that you may consider it nothing more than an admonishment stemming from our past disagreements.

When you say that people on this board are "a little too nonchalant about children's suffering here," and that it makes you ill, you are overcompensating due to your emotional problems distorting your ordinarily admirable concern for the welfare of children, and taking it out on us since we are close to you. In all my 11 years on this board, I have rarely seen anyone on this board condone, let alone support, the actual suffering of children, and those few who have were never well respected around here, and have even ended up run off or banned from the board. If the real and actual suffering of children was condoned, let alone supported, on a regular basis on this board, I would not hang around here at all, nor seek friendship from the people here...and I doubt you would, either. Almost none of us here would deny that children (and adolescents) in this world experience all too much suffering, but the fact remains that the vast majority of the real suffering children face in this world does NOT come at the hands of bona fide MAAs.

The fact that you misinterpreted Baldur's words as indicative of nonchalant condoning of the suffering of children (words he clarified in his amiable response to you) is an example of your above tendency, and why it has angered me and others so much when you have made such accusations in the past, and why it led to such verbal sparring and bad blood between us in the past.

It has to do with the fact that you are "messed up," as you put it in your own words, but I will say that your apology to Baldur and your admittance of your emotional problems leading to many bad days for you is admirable, courageous, and very self-introspective. I understand that the state has refused to help you, but the welfare of MAAs is not currently one of the state's priorities, and more often than not they seek to control us rather than help us deal with the extreme stigma we face. I also understand what it's like to effectively be poor, and to suffer from being unable to afford treatment in our lovely almost-everything-for-profit system. However, though the state may be refusing to help you, the people in this community will not refuse to do so, and we wont charge you for listening and offering you support and advice. This is why I often tell you (even if all too often in angry words) not to beat us up so much, or take out your frustrations on us when you do have such bad days. We continue to be here for you no matter what.

If you ever need to talk off the board, my e-mail is always open to you. And if you would like to talk on the board, we are always here.