I've always liked you, Hyper. I'm not certain exactly what went down in the VoA chat room a year and a half ago, so I will not make any comments about the administration's judgment in this particular matter, but I am glad you found a home here, as I most certainly want to be there for you whenever you need people from this community to talk to.
One bit of advice I will give you that I have given many others in this community over the years is this: it's always a bad idea to post or participate in the chat room if you are inebriated. People do not have full control over their faculties while under the influence, and you are likely to say things that you would ordinarily be able to prevent yourself from saying if sober, and I have seen people from this community say some very destructive things in the past while under the influence. Even after apologizing upon getting sober, one can inadvertently make enemies while under the influence, as some people can find it very difficult to overlook particularly stinging attacks made at them by someone who was fueled by "liquid courage."
In my personal opinion, hitting the bottle hard so as to attempt to drown your sorrows when severely depressed inevitably causes more harm than good. On the other hand, coming here to talk to us when severely depressed, and also making a visit to the LifeLine chat room when it's open, sans any alcohol are the best solutions to dealing with a bout of particularly severe depression. I thought I would give you this advice since I don't want GC to ever lose you, as I consider you a friend.