Re: How do you stay sane? How do you stay legal?

The "crime" was his and not yours, so it is permitted to mention it, within the limits of the rules.

I will note first that most men find 13 year olds attractive. Unless you were a late bloomer, there is no reason to believe that this man was a pedophile. Thirteen years old is a biological adult.

I have no idea what this man's motives were. Certainly there are many men who care only for their own physical pleasure, and care little for women (or girls) as anything other than sex objects. My personal experience is that these are a minority, though a good number more will pretend not to care, for reasons I don't quite understand except that they think they are expected to act that way, or as a defense mechanism against fears of rejection or inadequacy. All I can say is that you should consider how he treated you at the time and afterwards. Those who claim to know his motives without knowing more about him are wilfully ignorant.