...idiots like Summerdays and I need to keep writing our mediocre-at-best nonsense and patting each other on the back when we do because, well, if we didn't, then our denial of being idiots would be shattered, and we would be forced to look at ourselves as the inferior beings that we very clearly are compared to men of true brilliance like yourself. Please don't be harsh on us for our pathetic psychological need to walk amongst men of true brilliance and insight like you and our mutual pal Newfie in a futile effort to make ourselves look better in our own eyes. I can understand you are upset at having to share a board with intellectual neanderthals like Summerdays and I, and having to tolerate us trying to pass off the dreck we routinely spew out of our inferior brains as something that is actually insightful to the board members here, but please don't hate us for it. The lack of approval from someone of your intellectual eminence is devastating to us. I know we take advantage of the fact that you are not a native English-speaker, and are thus unable to come out in your full glory and thoroughly show us up for the simpletons we so obviously are compared to you (and Newfie, too!), but I'm sure you will find it in your heart to go easy on pathetic creatures like us as we try to bask in the superior glow of our betters--namely, yourself and our esteemed webmaster, Newfie.

I'm sure Newfie is very flattered and proud to receive the accolades of someone on his intellectual level such as yourself after having to put up with the likes of us intellectual midgets on the board all day, but if he can show us such tolerance by graciously reserving judgment on us, I am hoping you can forgive our constant pretentiousness by trying to come off as intelligent as our obvious betters as well as he does.

Btw, you may want to consider laying off the spirits before posting. I'm not sure what such advice from a mental nematode like me is worth, but because I respect you so much, I figured I'd offer it anyway.

I love ya, bud! :-)