Two Lives

Hello Redcocoa,

As an older man who has been dealing with the issues you bring up since my early teens, I can both empathize and sympathize with your feelings. I think most Child Lovers have gone through the process of self examination at some point in their lives. We wonder if the world is right and that we are all either child molesters or child molesters in waiting. Are we really monsters, some of us active, others dormant?

The answer is possibly, but probably not. It is undeniable that there are some pedophiles who molest and do so unrepentantly. But research shows unequivocally that most cases of molestation are committed by situational offenders who seize an opportunity they see as an easy mark; i.e. an available child. Although some true Child Lovers have been guilty of breaching the law despite their love, many, if not most, do not. We refrain from living our desires out of genuine love and concern for the hell the children would be put through if we were to succumb. I am one of those and I'll bet you are too.

While we have little control over what others think and do in this world, we do have the ability to make a quality life for ourselves. For me, I choose to deal with children in real life and do so in a completely non-sexual way. Of course their physical beauty is not lost on me while I am with them, but sexuality is WAY in the back of my mind.

That said, I need an outlet. I find that outlet when I am alone at home and am free to travel to my fantasy world. There I make the rules and there are no victims, only warm, loving embraces, complete with as much sexuality as I desire. In short, I live two lives: a fantasy life in which my pedoness rules supreme and a real life, where I follows the rules of society.

Thoughts make us neither a good person nor a bad one. Thoughts are our own personal property. It is only through actions that values judgments can rationally be made. Whether or not you are attracted, or feel sexual towards a real girl is irrelevant as long as your actions do not put either her or you in harm's way.

In short, think what you want, but do as you must. You sound like a very moral and ethical person to me redcocoa. Accept yourself as you are and find joy in both sides of yourself.

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