The self-defeating loop

"The fact that I would even think about it makes me the lowest bit of scum. "

28 is right to emphasize the distinction between fantasy and actions. Actions have consequences. Actions may or may not harm others. Fantasies and desires can't harm anyone.

One of the legacies of religion in the West is the attempt to control and suppress people by getting them to wage a war on themself over things which are natural and healthy.

If they were to tell you that breathing, and the urge to breath made you a "bad person," then they'd lose their ability to control you the moment you bought-in and suffocated. But if they tell you that there are common healthy thoughts that you aren't allowed to think, you get caught in the loop "I must not think the thought I'm thinking." And they know that a people at war with itself can never be at war with the controllers.

The Sexual Revolution did much to defuse some of their power over the majority. But for the sexual minorities, the struggle to cast-off repression has been isolated from community to community.

There is a distinction between not doing something because it is taboo or illegal, and not doing something because it violates consent. There's nothing inherently wrong with calling a "Barbara," by the nickname "Barb." But when she tells me that "Barbara" and "Barbie" are fine, but she doesn't like "Barb," I cease because I know she doesn't want it.

Thinking through your ethics requires you to hold yourself to a higher standard than simply receiving the "package" your culture transmits.

As for the "ticking time bomb" notion. Why should I who am a Hetero-teleio and a Pedophile be a dangerous potential rapist in one sexuality I have and not in another? I know that I won't act-out against females of any age. But while the exclusive Heteros tell me that I'm in control as a Hetero, they claim that I'm something entirely different as a Pedo.

I was a stepfather. ( The girls are grown now. ) And I did love my youngest Ellen. But since she didn't feel romantic towards me, I never declared my romantic feelings for her. In this regard I treated her the same way as any female I desire whose feelings for me are clearly platonic.

Having healthy desires makes life beautiful. Declaring sexuality to be dark, and trying to distance yourself from the recognition of Beauty will harm you. You need to love yourself more.

Dante