I feel ya, bro.

Hugs from here, too. The things I have felt as a result of being a GLer have been both the best and worst things of my life.

But- chin up and smile and all that! Try not to think about the assholes out there. There are lots of good people out there who are making LGs lives better. I'm sure you're one of them! Don't forget the things you do - and the things you *can* and *will* do when you get the chance.

Stopping the "bad guys", regardless of what evil they are doing, is really a matter of meeting people's basic needs: nourishment, protection, a sense of belonging, love, a chance to contribute or do meaningful work. These problems can be fought through any number of lines of life occupation. In fact, all of us who participate at GC are part of a community that helps each other out.

'I don't want to die without bringing my love for a little girl "to the next level". I am going to go and that depresses me so fucking deeply.'

Having thought about this, I realized the deepest and most meaningful way to share your love with a little girl isn't sex. It's something more abstract than that. It's the combination of weeks, months, maybe years - of sharing experiences, smiling, hugging, laughing, crying, telling stories, listening, being there for each other - all that's gonna make a profound and meaningful impact. Still, all that is a tall order! But it has the advantage of being legal. Maybe you can pull it off as a friend - or as a "future lover" - or even as a parent (that's legit too!). And the fact that there's so much you CAN do is cause to celebrate!