Re: my 19 yr old gf likes lg's....

Thank you very much for this post. Unfortunately, the caution our community requires results in a lot of stifled truths, even as this is one of the few places we can speak as freely on this issue as we do.

Also, your sigpic rocks. :)

"including talking about how she was used for child porn as a child, was 'molested' by many men"

On the one hand, you say "used" instead of "participated", but on the other, you put "molested" in quotes. I'm wondering, how does she feel about these experiences? Were they abusive, or just "abusive"? You don't have to answer if you're not comfortable, but I'm sure many of us here are curious about the later opinions of persons who were involved in this kind of stuff as a child.

On an only tangentially related note, I wonder whether the belief that childhood abuse creates pedophiles is a symptom of the recognition of children as sexual beings. Most people are informed by the cultural attitude that sex with children is abhorrent, and so would not even consider viewing children that way (thus, many pedophiles remain in denial of their feelings, while others struggle to accept who they are). But I guess being in a situation like that - whether you like it or not - kind of forces you to confront that reality (and here, it is very unfortunate that we don't make a legitimate distinction between abuse and consensual play, because then consensual play becomes abusive due to external forces), so that being abused does not make you a pedophile, but it sort of puts the cards on the table, so to speak, and some people who do have those feelings are perhaps confronted with them in a visceral way that most people aren't.

Obviously it's a lot more complicated than that. But the idea, at least, is in line with the cultural fear of anyone promoting pedophilia. They don't want people even thinking about pedophilia unless they're condemning it, because otherwise some people might get curious. And they think pedophiles are best left in denial of their feelings, hating themselves.

But this is all confused by the conflation of pedophilia with abuse. Pedophiles who love are conflated with individuals who hurt, and we, as a culture, have lost the ability to distinguish between them. And so, the pedophile who wants to love, is brainwashed into believing that his desires are a thinly veiled impulse to hurt children. And so he descends into despair and self-loathing. But it's not only he who suffers. When a person is miserable, and has nothing to lose, they're more likely to act irrationally. And when the whole world tells you the love you feel is a symptom of your incurable sickness, and that you're less than worthless for having it, you start to think that maybe you're better off not siding with the rest of the world after all. And that if you're a monster, you might as well show them what a monster can do.

Why don't people see that this isn't any kind of solution? They're making the world more dangerous for children, by getting in the way of the people who really love them.