Socialization and Girl Lovers

MY LITTLE GIRL MOMENTS & THE ISSUES OF SOCIALIZATION

In my travels throughout the Pacific islands and Southeast Asia regions, I have had many an opportunity to experience what this forum would call a GM. I coin mine as LGM or Little Girl Moments. These are precious moments to savor in remembrance of how beautiful the woman is at a younger age; where their whims and ways are innocent and curious. They start to appreciate a mans admiration also at a young age as well as I have personally observed in many of my LGMs with their smiles, their interest, and their innocent and fascinating curiosity. Some of the girls look at me as if saying why am I so special that you are so looking at me? I have often caught a little girl just looking at me and then further to catch her staring at me; I look back and there she is still looking at me! I kinda ask myself why are you staring at Meneither am I not good looking but, as society dictates, to the point of law and serious prosecution, much too old for you? But she doesnt know about the law yet in her young life. She has yet to be socialized with precepts of misconceptions about what is dirty, shameful, disgusting, and evil. Its so sad to see the loss of innocence and beauty when a little girl quickly covers herself and gets scared if she had mistakenly exposed her undeveloped breasts to people as if she had just done an unpardonable sin. It says that someone, her parents, or peers, or teachers, or even on TV have told her that certain features of her exposed body are shameful, or bad, or dirty to show others and more so worse to show a boy or man that maybe isnt her brother or father.

Socialization is the process whereby an individual learns to adjust and adapt to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the same group (or society) per age and era based upon law, religion, and beliefs.
According to most social scientists, especially in western societies, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behavior, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children based upon conceptions and beliefs that are justified and supported by the power, whims, and manners of powers that be be it a government or religious agenda.

The early years of life are, therefore, of paramount importance in the development of what ultimately becomes adult sexual orientation. There appears to be a reasonably fixed sequence of development. Before age five, the child develops a sense of gender identity, thinks of himself or herself as a boy or girl, and begins to relate to others differently according to their gender. Through experience the child learns what behavior is rewarded and what is punished and what sorts of behavior are expected of him or her.

Parents, peers, and society in general teach and condition the child about sex not so much by direct informational statements and admonitions as by indirect and often unconscious communication. The child soon learns, for example, that he can touch any part of his body or someone else's body except the analgenital region. The child rubbing its genitals finds that this quickly attracts adult attention and admonishment or those adults will divert him or her from this activity.

It becomes clear that there is something peculiar and taboo about this area of the body. This genital taboo is reinforced by the great concern over the child's excretory behavior: bladder and bowel control is praised; loss of control is met by disappointment, chiding, and expressions of disgust. Obviously, the analgenital area is not only a taboo area but a very important one as well. It is almost inevitable that the genitalia become associated with anxiety and shame. It is noteworthy that this attitude finds expression in the language of Western civilizations, as in privates (something to be kept hidden) and the German word for the genitals, Scham (shame).

While all children in Western civilizations experience this antisexual teaching and conditioning, a few have, in addition, atypical sexual experiences, such as witnessing or hearing sexual intercourse or having sexual contact with an older person. The effects of such atypical experiences depend upon how the child interprets them and upon the reaction of adults if the experience comes to their attention. Seeing parental coitus is harmless if the child interprets it as playful wrestling but harmful if he considers it as hostile, assault behavior. This is where the parents must be able to explain their sexual play as being sensual, pleasurable, fun, and normal.

Similarly, an experience with an adult may seem merely a curious and pleasurable game, or it may be deemed as a hideous trauma event that society says will leave lifelong psychic scars as defined and dictated by that society. In many cases the reaction of parents and society determines the child's interpretation of the event. What would have been a trivial and soon-forgotten act becomes traumatic if the mother cries molestation, the father rages on rape, and the police interrogate the child without social or psychological guidance. To address the adult involved is non-essential as that person has crossed the social-sexualage line and is incarcerated without mercy; worst that a murderer!

Western society is replete with attitudes that impede the development of a healthy attitude toward sex. The free abandon so necessary to a full sexual relationship is, in the eyes of many, an unseemly loss of self-control, and self-control is something one is urged to maintain from infancy onward. Panting, sweating, and involuntary vocalization are incompatible with the image of dignity. Worse yet is any substance once it has left the body: it immediately becomes unclean. The male and female genital fluids are generally regarded with disgustthey are not only excretions but sexual excretions. Here again, societal concern over excretion is involved, for sexual organs are also urinary passages and are in close proximity to the dirtiest of all placesthe anus.

In view of all these factors working against a healthy, rational attitude toward sex and in view of the inevitable disappointments, exploitations, and rejections that are involved in human relationships, one might wonder how anyone could reach adulthood without being seriously maladjusted. The sexual impulse, however, is sufficiently strong and persistent and repeated sexual activity gradually erodes the inhibitions and any sense of guilt or shame. Adults successfully entering the lifestyle of swinging are a testimony of this.

Further, all humans have a deep need to be esteemed, wanted, and loved. Sexual activity with another is seen as proof that one is attractive, desired, valued, and possibly loveda proof very necessary to self-esteem and happiness. Hence, even among the very inhibited or those with weak sex drive, there is this powerful motivation to engage in socio-sexual activity.
Most persons ultimately achieve at least a tolerable sexual adjustment. Some unfortunates, nevertheless, remain permanently handicapped, and very few completely escape the effects of society's anti-sexual conditioning. Worse case is the rapist and molester that may escalate to murder and serial killings of any age.

In terms of sex, the most important factor, is in our western society, Christianity. While other vital aspects of human life, such as government, property rights, kinship, and economics, were influenced to varying degrees, sexuality was singled out as falling almost entirely within the domain of religion.
This development arose from an ascetic concept shared by a number of religions, the concept of the good spiritual world as opposed to the carnal materialistic world, the struggle between the spirit and the flesh. Since sex epitomizes the flesh, it was obviously the enemy of the spirit.
Beginning in the 2nd century, Western Christianity was heavily influenced by this dichotomous philosophy of the Gnostics; sex in any form outside of marriage was an unmitigated evil and, within marriage, an unfortunate necessity for purposes of procreation rather than pleasure. The powerful anti-sexuality of the early Christians (note that neither God nor Christ has a wife and that marriage does not exist in heaven) was in part due to their apocalyptic vision of life: they anticipated that the end of the world and the Last Judgment would soon be upon them. There was no time for a gradual weaning away from the flesh; an immediate and drastic approach was necessary. Indeed, such excessive anti-sexuality developed that the church itself was finally moved to curb some of its more extreme forms.
As it became evident that human existence was going to continue for some unforeseeable length of time and as occasional intelligent theologians made them felt, anti-sexuality was ameliorated to some extent but still remained a foundation stone of Christianity for centuries. This attitude was particularly unfortunate for women, to whom most of the sexual guilt was assigned. Women, like the original temptress Eve, continued to attract men to commit sin. They were spiritually weak creatures prone to yield to carnal impulses. This is, of course, a classic example of projecting one's own guilty desires upon someone else.

Ultimately, legal control over sexual behavior passed from the church to the state, but in most instances the latter simply perpetuated the attitudes of the former. Priests and clergymen frequently continued to exert powerful extra-legal control: denunciations from the pulpit can be as effective as statute law in some cases. Although religion has weakened as a social control mechanism, even today liberalization of sex laws and relaxation of censorship have often been successfully opposed by religious leaders. On the whole, however, Christianity has become progressively more permissive, and sexuality has come to be viewed not as sin but as a God-given capacity to be used constructively.

Apart from religion, the state sometimes imposes restrictions for purely secular reasons. The more totalitarian a government, the more likely it is to restrict or direct sexual behavior. In some instances, this comes about simply as the consequence of a powerful individual (or individuals) being in a position to impose ideas upon the public. In other instances, one cannot escape the impression that sex, being a highly personal and individualistic matter, is recognized as antithetical to the whole idea of strict governmental control and supervision of the individual. This may help explain the rigid censorship exerted by most totalitarian regimes over sexual expression. It is as though such a government, being obsessed with power, cannot tolerate the power the sexual impulse exerts on the population.

Sexual deviations and sex offenses are, of course, social definitions rather than natural phenomena. What is normative behavior in one society may be a deviation or crime in another. One can go through the literature and discover that virtually any sexual act, even childadult relations has somewhere at some time been acceptable behavior.

In conclusion, the cardinal lesson of anthropology is that no type of sexual behavior or attitude has a universal, inherent social or psychological value for good or evilthe whole meaning and value of any expression of sexuality is determined by the social context within which it occurs.

Sorry to say that some of the above is not mine to claimbut below. I find this rather interesting!

("sexual behaviour, human." Encyclopædia Britannica. Encyclopaedia Britannica Ultimate Reference Suite. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica, 2010.)