I've been thinking about this issue, too

Specifically, I've been pondering, as a possible future parent, how will I help my children grow up in such a way that they don't feel any shame about their sexuality? How can they be allowed to explore their curiosity while learning what the customs and conventions of society are?

There are lots of aspects of this but one thing I wonder about is people's attitudes and customs in regards to physical contact with children. Nobody really pays any mind to how or where you pick up and hold a baby (so long as you don't hurt her/him!). This persists through most of toddlerhood. After some age point, though, parents (to some degree) and other relatives (to a much greater degree) will be more selective as to which body regions are acceptable to make contact with during hugs, carrying, or other forms of contact. And I think this sends a distinct message even without words - that there is something funny about those parts of the body which are treated differently.

And of course the societal convention of covering certain regions of the body with clothes is the big contributor to this implicit message of "naughty bits" as well. When I was about 6 or 7, my visiting girl cousin (close to the same age) noticed that I changed my shirt in full view of guests. She was quite shocked and asked her mother about this - wasn't it bad to let other people see your naked chest?

Needless to say, AAARGAGRGAHRGHGHGHHH!

As for me, I had a strange contact shyness for the few years leading up to puberty. Prior to that, I'd exchange a hug, kiss, or both with my mother as she dropped me off for school each day. The all of a sudden I didn't want to do any of this any more, and even refused to hug any relative. I can think of NO explanation for this whatsoever. Then later, as a teenager, I realized I was being ridiculous and went back to hugging everyone.

But during that age (10ish to 12ish) I was certainly interested in girls in my class. I didn't quite yet have sexual fantasies, but I certainly had desire in an abstract sense. That age range also happens to be my primary AoA. Interesting.

Though I never consciously recognized that I was in an environment of suppression or shame myself (I still don't believe that I was), I feel like it was really awkward, as a youngster, to have such a strong interest in girls but not know what to *do* about it, if that makes sense. You can find much-watched videos on YouTube of 4 year-olds kissing each other, as a natural part of their curiosity. The thought never really even occurred to me! And certainly the stories of kids playing "doctor" and such... just following their natural curiosity.

Seeing adults kissing was never interesting and never provoked curiosity from me - well, DUH, I liked kids back then too, so why would it have? And I never even knew what sex looked like or how one would go about it until... oh gee, I don't even know... and, well, even if I had seen it, it wouldn't have appealed to me if it was adults. Hmph.

So anyway I still don't exactly know how to make sure that my own future offspring will grow up with a healthy understanding and attitude about sex, but I'll keep thinking about it!