Re: Impermanence

An important reading recommendation I am giving you is the book Going All The Way by Susan Thompson. The book extensively deals with the sexual lives of underage girls, and Thompson interviewed literally hundreds of girls and young women about this subject. The whole book is interesting, but in Chapter 7 Thompson specifically interviewed a multitude of girls and young women who had romantic relationships with significantly older people when they were underage, and nothing she heard in the numerous responses bore out the common mythology of the girl who is "totally messed up" by a relationship with an adult ending, or suffering to a greater extent than they would when a relationship with a peer ends. There is no logic or science behind that at all, just societal assumptions based upon a skewed view of youth competency and emotional resilience.

Well, that's interesting, but I've observed real life situations enough to know that Thompson is full of shit. She's obviously cherry-picking her data. And I'm talking primarily about girls who date peers, which is much more culturally sanctioned. Girls getting their hearts broken is not a fun thing to be around; I've been there to comfort them after the fallout from that. So there's no way a girl dating an older man--which isn't culturally sanctioned, at least in the West--will not have to deal with the stigma of that, not to mention feeling old before her time, etc., on top of having her heart broken. Sorry, but one clearly biased book is not enough to convince me. I'm too wise to (and too weary of) this kind of disregard of reality that goes on here. Besides, even if it was/is rare, you can't count on that being the case. That's called wishful thinking, and it is the scourge of many an unrealistic relationship.

My cynicism has nothing to do with youth competency. I speak from experience. I am still dealing with the emotional issues that grew out of my single sexual contact with an adult. I had unrealistic ideas about the guy, and my immersion in the BLer environment has made me see the light: BLers as a rule are assholes, and I can't believe I didn't see my molester for what he was. I have blinded myself to the truth for too long. Has my constant emotional fluctuations, which has been on display at GC for awhile now, not convinced you that this shit really messed me up?