Re: Grow out of attraction

Quite incoherent for you of all people to expect something to last forever.

Oh my god, you know what I meant.

I don't expect that.

As a matter of fact, all my experience tells me it never happens.

That's beside the point. My understanding is that most people try to make the relationship work for as long as they're able to, fully expecting to stay in it for the rest of their lives. They don't get into a long-term relationship thinking, "Well, I'm going to stop falling in love with her in 3 or 4 years, probably causing her a great deal of pain in the process, but what the hell, eh?" Well, maybe men do that all the time; I wouldn't doubt it. Is it really any wonder why women think men are dogs? It's because of crap like this. I sure as hell wouldn't want to do that to a girl I loved. I would stay with her as long as she loved me, regardless. And I'm one of the few exclusives on this board! You can't tell me that most people here couldn't make it work if they really wanted to.

Probably yes.

No probably about it. And I am the one who thinks marriage is outmoded. See, this is why I find most traditionalists to be hypocrites. They make this huge holy deal out of the sanctity of marriage for others, and then they take it for granted in their own lives. You talk about marrying girls here all the time, but marriage apparently means very little to you. Personally I think marriage is artificial and unnecessary if you really love someone, and if you don't, then why marry them in the first place?

But it is still deluding yourself, and lying to her by relaying to her the lies you tell yourself; to assume it will not end or it will not be painful or conflicting for either or both of you. Love is the apex predator of all; it hunts, kills and devours every heart it touches. And it is still a lie to believe that you can eliminate this risk. It's no less a lie if you change either partner's age or gender, either. Though you are right that childhood and youth experiences are more memorable and influential than later experiences.

Oh, what a crock of shit. Love is a chemical/hormonal/emotional condition, and we are hardwired for it. It may not last all our lives, but I find it more than a little cold and vulturous to enter into a relationship knowing full well that when she hits a certain age that will be essentially the end of it for you, and sorry, but just hoping she will feel the same way is not enough to go for it. Who said anything about eliminating the risk? Risk is always involved when you get into a relationship with someone, but you are being disingenuous here. You aren't talking about a risk; you're talking about a near certainty that it will end for you in a few years, and you're playing with her heart in the mean time. Every game of chance has risk involved, but you are loading the dice against her and that is not fair to her.

Then teleiophiles are the cruellest people in the planet.

Beside the point. We're not teleiophiles (or at least I'm not.) We're different, and we should be better than they are. Who was it that said MAPs are the only real romantics left? I have my doubts . . .