Re: Question: How many here were genuinely abused?

There is only one difference I can think of, but it is a substantial one.

Having been molested, you are uncomfortable with the thought that you share the attraction of your abuser, you don't want to be like him, and make a conscious effort to be different (at least now you are self-aware as a paed) yet in the back of your mind you'll never be sure you are not.

Those without the sexual contact cannot relate to that on a personal level. And I freely accept that. It is as alien to me as all the other child experiences that I don't share with other GCers or with you specifically (good, bad or neutral) and their lasting effects.

In that sense you might be right that GC (or BC) is not the place for you. But it has little to do with our more political focus (or with their anything-goes attitudes). It has to do with you wanting and needing something that we cannot offer. We can listen to you, and we can try to comfort you, but we do not have the understanding that comes with the experience that you relate, and never will. If you want one or more shoulders, you'll have plenty, mine among them. If you want us to think in the terms of what you experienced, then no, it is just not possible because we did not.

I never thought I'd say this, but you might end up being better off in a CASC victim group, even with their likely anti slants and all.

Because really what use, for your own personal mental stability does it have to dwell on a part of you, your own child-attraction, that constantly and unavoidably reminds you of something you'd prefer to forget? Of course it is painful, stressful, and ultimately emotionally draining!

But whatever you choose, hugs!!!!