agreed....

i think your right in the sense that blowing up doesn't make me look good. and all night at work i was kind of dreading the shit storm my rant was going to cause. but i am a very passionate & emotional person....and sometimes i feel if it's ok for others to call me a flat out liar and tell me that the fetus growing in my gf's womb is nothing but fiction then why is is not ok for me to call them jealous negative ppl in a heated manner?

these ppl are talking about my fucking baby......i am 28 yrs old....i have been sexually active for 14 yrs and never once has a gf of mine said "justin, i'm pregnant with your child"....so the feeling i got when i found out was something i can't describe. a sense of protection and most of all a sense of un matched joy is all i can say i guess.

plus...idk man honestly this whole "your a liar" thing is just old....i mean if everybody thinks i'm a liar wouldn't i just move on to a new board? or start a new nick? it's been years dude...and idk some have suggested i try a different gl forum but honestly i have come across a few i guess but never been tempted to join. GC feels like my home....like i always say it just really played a huge role in my acceptance for my self and it's special to me. even tho the ppl piss me off sometimes.

i really respect your attitude on not caring whether it's true or not....i'm the same way...if that's what makes you happy then do it, i say!! and your absolutely right it would be the biggest dumbest waste of time to do all this.

ah, idk man. sometimes i just feel the more i defend my self the more ppl accuse me of lying.

anyways, thank u for ur advice on the baby. we have been doing alot of research and have been told that stress is one of the biggest factors in the beginning when it comes to mis-carriage so we are taking it easy and only fighting 3 times a day...lol. jk...kinda.

but yeah i have realized that the scariest thing after you've found out your pregnant is the fear of being told "your not pregnant anymore"....we are hoping to have our first Dr's appointment soon...she just has to get signed up for medicaid.

i truly feel good about this tho....i just feel like things in my life are coming together in a way that i could have only dreamed and am really really lucky....the final piece of my puzzle will to hear that Dr. say "your having a girl!"....God, my heart just fills up and i get chills every time i think of it.....fuck, i guess i can understand ppl's hesitation because it seems un real to me too....but it is, it really is....and honestly i know i sound like a dick but the other reality kills me too. it could be a boy. :( i promised my self tho that if it is a boy i will love it and care for it with all my heart the way it deserves....then get started on a girl!! ;)