Re: I feel like I'm two different people sometimes

Maybe I'm wrong here.

But it sounds like Person 1 and Person 2 are both responding to imposed expectations. One toes the line and is happy, The other has desires that will lead others to think she's a horrible person and is unhappy.

Truth be told, those whose desires could never upset all their neighbors don't actually have desires of their own. And your self-worth ought to be based on what you do, not on what you'd like to do in your fantasies.

Sure, I'd like to f*ck Kate Winslet. But we're perfect strangers and even if we knew each other, the desire would have to be mutual for it to be consensual. And I'm interested in my desires being reciprocal, so its not gonna happen. And yet, there's nothing wrong with the thought occurring in one's head, even if others might claim so.

What I find, when we set aside the carrot and stick of what passes for public moral opinion, is that most of us who abandon shame end up holding ourselves to even higher standards, once we think them through for ourselves. The others are concerned with mere obedience and approval, we are concerned with the avoidance of harm.

In the end, shame leads to paralysis, rather than to ethical conduct.

But that's just my two cents.

Dante