Funnily enough . . .

It was a women's magazine (Cosmopolitan to be exact) that finally made me realize my own orientation. There were a couple of short articles that I recall well, both written by women, that were accounts of childhood, which I read when I was 13.

One woman said that what really made her hot under the collar (by which I mean horny, not angry) was remembering how her dad used to get off by rubbing himself between her legs when she was a toddler. She said she knew it was wrong, but it still made her extremely hot to think about it. Note: he never actually penetrated her, just held her legs together and . . . well, you get the picture. (Mods, I hope this is within the rules; I know there's a fine line here so if you have to censor it, you have my blessing.)

The other article was about a girl who, when she was about 7 or so, was obsessed with a teenaged male cousin. Later she realized she was attracted to him, but, it being a cousin, nothing ever came of it. But she said she would always stare at his crotch when they were swimming together because he wore these speedo-like bottoms to swim in.

I was fascinated with these articles, and that, combined with my feelings for a young neighbor girl and my crush on Heather O'Rourke from Poltergeist made me see who and what I was. Oh, I denied it to myself for a few years, but at heart I always knew, and I always wanted to be around little girls when I was a teen and a young man. As I got older I realized it was a bit too obvious and did not go out of my way to be around girls. Instead I let them come to me. There's always some girl somewhere that needs a friend and they'll come to YOU if you let them. :)