Re: I don't think that's necessarily the answer

"I wish they had better options, but the only option here was for children services to intervine and take them into foster care. Which would have been better than the situation they were in, but they still wouldn't be choosing who takes care of them. "

Yes, but it would have helped if they could have chosen whether to stay with their existing carers or go to foster care.

"Not to mention a child being able to choose who takes care of them isn't necessarily the best way to stop abuse. In this the kids wanted out but there are many cases of children who are taken away from their parents by children services that would go back in a minute if they were allowed, since children (especially young ones) may love their parents even while being abused by them. "

Precisely. And in that case taking the children away from the parents is itself abuse.

But one major problem with children talking about their family and problems there is lack of respect for their wishes, and the status of "mandated reporters". Note that this problem is shared by adults.

The adults have well founded fear that if they seek help with problems like depression, anorexia, paranoia et cetera, they are liable to lose control and make matters worse - get taken captive against their will "for their own protection" or for protection of others. Accordingly, people who have such concern may wish for help, counselling or cure, but they are unwilling to seek it. With the result that no one knows they are dangerous until they perform overt acts of suicide, murder etc.

Is it useful to offer people helplines which do not trace callers, such that the caller is free to hang up and complete suicide if not feeling good enough? And would the same kind of help - no strings attached, free to give up and carry out the plans - also be helpful for prospective murderers and other criminals?

Likewise, children are often unwilling to talk to outsiders about problems at home and often are expressly told by adults not to snitch and not to wash dirty laundry, often with explanation that the prospect of being seized from family and sent to abusive orphanage/foster care is worse than even an unhappy family. Which is credible - children are rarely shown that it is not the case, and usually it indeed is not.

Would children with problems benefit from having the possibility to talk to someone who has good knowledge of foster care conditions, who is truthful and desists from lying or exaggerating to defraud the child into reporting his or her carers, and who would NOT be a mandated reporter but who would lack the right (or indeed the opportunity) to report a child who does not want to be reported - the child could take contact, get advice and information, and be completely free walk out or hang up, and take any alternative actions such as returning to keep putting up with abuse, committing suicide or committing murder?