Thoughts leaking from my head

This afternoon, I saw this gorgeous creature with long light brown hair and a shape that just had to be from God's Porn Collection. Alas, she was in her late teens so I said to my self, I said, "Self, you just wouldn't know what to do with her!"

I was right. As I thought about it, even if she would have walked into my bedroom and dropped her clothes off and jumped onto me, I'd not respond.

Yet, as I walked briskly through Walmart to pick up a pair of socks, I spied a skinny little angel playing in the Woman's shirt racks. If she had walked into my bedroom and jumped onto me... I'd probably died of a heart attack. Hell, my heart is racing as I recount the image to you here!

Ghod, I'm happily hopeless.