It is selfish

I totally disagree. If anything when you adopt an older child you can gage what their personality is like BEFORE you adopt them. You'll know if the kid has the same basic interests as you. So if you enjoy going camping or doing outdoorsy things, or if you're the opposite and tend to like staying in and having more family time, adopting an older child can give you the opportunity to adopt a kid who you know has the same interests. Adopting a baby you don't know what they may grow to be interested in, you don't know if they have FAS or autism or any other things that can't be diagnosed until they're older.

I just find it unfair that people think that a kid is irreversably damaged because of situations totally out of their control. Sure a teenager is hard to parent, because frankly they're old enough that you wouldn't be adopting them to parent but just to try to guide, but a child of 8 isn't some damaged being.

They are still able to be influenced a lot by parents and good caregivers. Adopting a kid from foster care can help them from being bounced from foster home to foster home in the system. I have a friend who's been to so many different foster homes that they can't even give you a number when you ask how many.

You are right about one thing though, it is selfish. Especially for people who already have kids. I understand someone who's infertile wanting a baby, because really it's their second choice and they really wanted their own baby to cuddle and hold, but for someone who's already had a child or adopted a baby once why can't they adopt an older child? Because it's to much work, and I think a older child would rather be adopted than put into a foster home where they can be kicked out if the foster parent decides they're to much work, or they age out to a foster home for teenagers.

Anyway I could go on forever about this but I won't. I personally think that if you've had a couple kids and you're thinking of having more then maybe you should adopt an older foster child, why not help change a childs life and possibly their future? I just think they get a bad rap, and a bum deal.