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You wrote:

"I cannot see why sexual expression, which is free, gentle and pleasurable, is seen as the same thing on people's minds. It makes no sense to me. The more I tried to understand it, the less and less sense it makes."

I am glad this does not make sense to you. If nonsense made sense to you, that would be a problem.

I will point out that the -tarian suffix is not unique to "totalitarian". I would prefer a political system devoted to lolis, that is not totalitarian in any way, shape, or form.