It's ALIVE!

Since an AK47 is an inanimate object you can refer to me as an "it", thus the title.

Ah my favorite pink website! Sorry for the absence, if you missed me. If you were glad well I apologize for the return... well pseudo-return anyway.

Just as a note my hushmail email was closed because I forgot about the three week time limit so if I haven't responded to any emails that'd be why.

Reasons for my absence? Well the site has been buggy as shit for me and frankly it took me close to 40 minutes to post this haha. So there is that, however the main reason is because I just don't like having TOR on my computer. I get too sucked into the whole child love stuff and it takes up a lot of time. Not to mention it can get frustrating, since it is difficult to make head way with anyone on the topic.

Ironically as a little boy I would always fantasize about "being the one person who knew the truth and had to valiantly fight many others to reveal this truth." Hindsight is always 20/20, I would have my younger self understand the annoyance of such a burden.

I want to share with you guys what I shared on BC when I couldn't get on here. Back in early April:

After a long day we were at my house. Both Q (8) and T (7). T was playing video games and Q was jumping off the couch and I had to catch her. On her fifth jump her crotch landed right on me knee. It was an accident. "Oooww my vagina!" She fell on the ground and rubbed herself down there. "Oh shit are you okay? You landed right on my knee!" At this point I really wasn't even thinking of anything other than that I accidentally hurt her. "Yeah I'm okay..." Then she looked right at me, spread her legs, and said "Rub it for me." With this smirk.

I stood there, kind of shocked, suddenly very horny. No, no I couldn't... even if I did, and she would very much enjoy it as would I, if she told anyone. Sure, sure I could tell her not to tell anyone. I would give my speech, about how society says it's wrong... even though it really isn't. How I would go to jail, how they would lie and say I didn't love her and only used her. How sexual stuff is and can be fun when you do it with someone you like and it's consensual.

I didn't though, too much risk. Even if, I know what it is like to hold a "sexual" secret when the world shames you for it. Tells you it's wrong, a sin, bad, dirty. Mine wasn't even with an adult I was a preteen and she was a slightly older preteen... yet the feelings and shame and guilt were intense, AFTER we got caught mind you. It was awesome and so much fun during. I remember the distinct shift in feelings after my parents found out. They acted as if we murdered someone. Being religious didn't help.

I can't be there with Q all the time to assure her that most everyone is wrong and that she is right.

So... I laughed it off, "you can do that yourself I'm sure your fine."

That wasn't the end though. A short while later we are on the couch watching TV. Q was very giddy that day. I said something wrong... frankly I forgot what it was. She looked at me and said, "fucking retard." I snapped back "what the hell did you call me?" Then she curled up in the corner of the couch. I gave her a light smack on her butt. "I am not a fucking retard you little devil." It was all playful, no one was really mad... she was giggling. Then she sticks her butt out and says "kiss my butt." This time T was close by. So T says "yea kiss her butt, do it!" I thought they were joking, like a kiss my ass type deal. "No, I am not kissing your butt." Then Q says "come on please?" and then T said "Only 5 times we won't tell anyone" Again I started getting excited, and my heart rate jumped. "No kiss your own asses." After which they decided to show me what kind of underwear a girl was wearing at the beach last summer. Let me make this clear. I DO NOT PRESSURE, SUGGEST, OR EVEN HINT AT ANY OF THIS. This is all them, being risque children. Apparently the girl was wearing a thong. They pulled down their pants, turned around, and essentially wedgied themselves with their panties and it gave the appearance of a thong. Then Q turns around and shows me a beauty mark she has right above her vagina. Then her and T compared nipple colors. At which point I told them to stop, for fear someone might see them essentially stripping. Forever painted gloriously into my memory by the way. AGAIN I NEVER EVEN HINTED AT THIS. NEVER SUGGESTED ANY OF THIS HAPPEN. THEY DID THIS ON THEIR OWN ACCORD WHILE WE WATCHED TV.

FUCK! What the fuck is going on? Why am I being tortured? I am an atheist, but I can't help but think some cruel higher power enjoys seeing me writhe with pain as I deny these girls great pleasures we could share.

Meh.... the capslock sentences make me seem a tad bit too desperate to try and let it be known that I had no hand in their..... risque behavior. Regardless that is truly how it exactly went down. If any mods have a problem with any part of that please remove it but I do not think it violates any rules.

In the last month and a half though I have not seen Q or T. Reason being that I tutored her too well. She is now very caught up in school. Her mom thanked me so much. I kinda wish I slowed it down now haha. Still I get to go on vacation with them this summer so that will be fucking legit! I can't wait!

You guys are the best here at GC! I miss chatting and stuff. I am still only going to hop on a couple times a month maybe. If I ever make a new email address I'll let those I emailed with know.

See ya guys!