Incredible GMs

I'm not sure how to start with this one - there's just so much to say. I guess I'll talk about three mesmerizing encounters, all with the same perfectly beautiful girl.

I must point out that this girl - let's call her Carissa - was a part of my life for a few years. I saw her often, but I was always watching from a distance. I loved what I saw. Her cuteness and cheeky playfulness filled me with joy. We sometimes spoke, but the relationship was mostly shallow and shy. I'm sure everyone here is familiar with the process of "building someone up" which can occur in these situations: You see little fragments of a person's life and personality - fragments which you adore - and you use those to build her up into a being overflowing with angelic qualities. You never really get to know her so you never learn of her flaws. The infatuation never ends so she remains beautiful beyond words. Psychologists have a name for this process - it's well understood. This is how Carissa is to me. She is a product of all the dream like encounters I've had with her over the years. She is flawless. Seeing her is like seeing a movie star... No, it's more like having a supernatural experience full of awe and disbelief that such beauty is possible. So what I'm saying is, she's special. The reasons for this might merely be a few pages in a psychology text book, but that's fine; she is my favourite, favourite girl and I'm happy with that.

The description: Blonde hair past shoulder length - a tiny bit wavy. Flawless, tanned skin. Perfect body with nothing woman-like about her hip-to-waist ratio, buttocks which extend to the rear but not to the sides. Her face seems to have a cheeky look to it, like she's got a ton of laughter in there, ready to burst out. Her lips are thin - that doesn't sound good, I know, but you've just gotta see her! Her neck seems muscular... Wow, when she turns her head there are all kinds of internal parts which form waves and valleys of brown skin on her neck. It always sends adrenalin through me.

Okay, the GMs:
I was at a sporting event, and Carissa arrived. She seemed different outside of our normal environment: more enthusiastic about interacting with me. The moment she saw me, she gave a cute little noise of enthusiasm, ran up to me and attached herself to me. She does not hug; she attaches herself, and she remains there to the point that I feel people are staring at us. And she squeezes. On this day, Carissa decided that my right arm was her best friend. We walked around the event and she was attached to my arm. From my shoulder to my hand, I could feel the heat of her, like my arm had been absorbed by her body. And her cuteness was never-ending. We talked and laughed like we were best friends, the arm situation being a constant source of humour. This, I believe, was two years ago, and she must have been about 10 or 11.

Carissa disappeared from my life shortly after this. I was sad, but thankful for the memories of magic.

This year, I saw her in a mall. She was wearing her school uniform, and she was with her brother and mother who are both very friendly and decent. I nearly didn't approach, but I was so glad I did. Carissa looked at me, and the moment she recognized me, she made that same cute little squeak of enthusiasm, ran to me, and attached herself. There she stayed. At first, I hugged back, but, eventually, I didn't know what to do with my hands. One cannot just stand in a mall embracing a 13-year-old girl! It's hard to say, but I think the hug must have been close to 20 seconds, and, like I said, she squeezes: I had some air forced out of my lungs. The three of us talked for a long time. When it was time to go, Carissa made another little noise as she re-attached herself to me, but this time it was a noise of disappointment, as though she was saying, "I'm gonna miss you".

Almost exactly a month later, I saw her in the same mall with her mother. Her hair was loose and covering her upper back. She wore a mostly-blue, patterned dress which was tight around her mid section and then flared out a tiny bit. It was about mid-thigh length. UNDER that she was wearing tight, black pants! I love it when girls wear stuff under a dress or skirt! Then, pushing her outfit to even greater levels of cuteness was a strappy, tiny grey top ON TOP of the dress! So, so cute! Again she ran to me, again she attached herself and squeezed and again I didn't know what to do with my hands! I ended up sitting down at a restaurant to have lunch with them. I couldn't believe what was happening! The conversation was constant. I made Carissa laugh a number of times. I got compliments from her like, "You're giving me such good advice" and "You'd make a good father". I saw her eating for the first time ever and - due to weird fetishes - I was completely mesmerized by it. Then I finished her food for her, using her fork. There is so much more, but I'm not going to put it in this excessively long post. Sights, sounds and sensations from these GMs will stay with me forever.

Almost immediately after we departed from each other, I started to miss her intensely. Carissa is so special that she brings light into the lives of all with whom she interacts. I told her something similar at the table: I said something like, "Anyone who might be having a bad day just needs to spend time with you to have their day brightened up". I left her feeling like I was leaving a best friend. Then a desperate urge came over me: To somehow get involved with her family; to somehow find something to offer them. And then, despair, because I have nothing and they don't need me for anything.

That was one-and-a-half months ago. I told my best friend all about her, I wrote 6 pages about her in my journal and I recorded a long voice message about her. All of these things helped "settle" the memories in my mind, and helped preserve the event. This post is helping in the same way. Thanks for reading to the end. Carissa is with me every day, in my thoughts. I'm hanging onto the hope that I will experience the magical wonder of her presence again.

Incredible GMs - LONG