okay

*The Infamous Bitch Poem*

Everyday I give thanks to the Goddess,
I have two mounds upon my bodice.
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee,
Can justify any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon,
Can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, can pump my own gas,
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long,
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.

Let me tell you men
Listen to me boys
Those things in your pants
That you treat as toys
You love them more then we ever will
We would rather suck on a cold pickled dill

I never forget an important date,
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore,
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch,
And just 'cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch!

I don't wear the same underwear everyday,
The food in my fridge has no sign of decay.
Don't burp, don't belch and I certainly don't fart,
Ballet, not football, is what I consider an art.

Don't say to your friends,
"Oh yeah, I can get her" -
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!

I don't have a problem,
Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

I know all you men
Think that you're "IT"
But compared to a woman
You just ain't SHIT!

Don't call me a girl,
A babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN,
Get it, you prick?!