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I have taken an action that may or may not get results some day. I have written a document that is my "coming out" document. It starts off saying something to the effect of, "This will shock people who know me, and I apologize for any past dishonesty I have had with you." It goes on, chapter style, to defend CL (similar to pamphlets you have seen). It proceeds through some childhood incidents in my life (I am of the "environmental influence" school). It then describes exactly what I am attracted to and why. I discuss society's dichotomic stances about finding youth beautiful, but demonizing those who outwardly recognize that beauty. The work is not short. It is 27 pages. I took time to describe things graphically, though it also makes clear that I have abstained from illegal real-life activity. Also in the beginning, I state that if the document is being read, I have died, been incarcerated, or society has changed to the point where this document will not cause embarrassment to others. The main content is my history of pedo moments - from the early incidents where I was shocked and disgusted with myself (due to society's brainwashing), through the period where I had occasional interest in an LG, to the incident that made me fully admit my attraction to myself, and finally, to my full admission (without disgust) to myself that I simply love little girls. Currently, it is likely it won't be found. I am trying to figure out a way to get it out there when it is time. I may include a sealed document to be opened in my will. I genuinely do not want to embarrass others by association with me. Hopefully, my elderly mother will have passed on by then (that sounds wrong - I love her and hope she is around for a long time). I purposefully did not mention names of adults involved with me as a child or other names or specifics. If it IS found while I am alive, it will likely be by the gubment and won't get published. I would love to think of a way to get it mailed to a publisher, or at least the media. |