Out of the blue.

If the thought itself arrives out of nowhere, unrelated to any previous thought or event; it might be something akin to OCD.

The thoughts that bother those with OCD are often frightening, and without merit. That they are without merit makes them no less frightening. But part of lessening their power, is the realization that the thought just is. Its arrival doesn't make it meaningful.

Though I also have found that the "I can't fix it" part is vastly overrated.

Now keep in mind that I am Mister rut. My coworkers all know where I am going for lunch and what I will order there, because I do it every day. And when I finally tire of it and switch to a new routine in a couple of years, their minds will boggle.

However, I do know that I am more than my present neuroses. When I was younger I was terrified of change on some level; that letting go of who I was, even the bits I didn't like, would be a form of suicide. But what I found when I finally allowed myself to incorporate some new routines, was that it was still me, even if I lost some bad habits and self-defeating patterns. The same dumb sense of humor was proof that I could change without losing the bits that were really me.

And "fixing" some of what matters to me, made me realize how unimportant was "fixing" what doesn't matter to me, but matters to strangers. Though I think of some of it as becoming "bilingual;" learning how to speak str8 without giving up being fluent in queer. :)

Dante