You're very welcome, luv2. I'm glad I could help you with my literary recommendations as all are excellent and, IMO, positive books that will give you much perspective on adult attraction to minors, along with many other issues that are relevant to our situation, without moralizing and making you feel bad about yourself. You will see that there is literature out there that challenges the bigoted, orthodox view that permeates all aspects of our media and pop culture, and the "anti" side of the issue is not the only side to it by far; they just have the advantage of never having their work subjected to censorship, no matter how sensationalistic and lacking in facts it may be. The popular view always has an advantage, however unfair, over the unpopular side of the issue, even if the latter tends to trump the former in facts.

Needless to say, you have a community here to talk to whenever you need it. And you know you are not alone in dealing with the difficulty of being a MAP in a society and time period that considers our natural attractions to be evil incarnate.