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Re: The Greatest Of These Is Love, CH 3

Posted by Markaba on 2013-April-17 20:15:20 EDT, Wednesday
In reply to Re: The Greatest Of These Is Love, CH 3 posted by girls_are_kittens on 2013-April-16 15:53:24 EDT, Tuesday
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Gim, I enjoy reading your story. The writing is crisp and the story compelling. But two things:

First, I don't think there was enough foreshadowing to give us a good idea of why Julio's brother would want to stab Foster. I get that they argued, but it never seemed really that apparent that he disliked Foster.

Second, and this is the big one for me, why does Foster have to be a racist? I know none of us are perfect, but that doesn't exactly endear the character to the reader (unless he is someone like Goethe the Femmazoid perhaps) and makes it a challenge to identify with him. I do hope this was just something said in anger and not a deep-seated character flaw he has.

Okay, that's all I wanted to say. :)

Markaba

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