I'd take her position (or a reasonable position that's similar to hers) as "Of course everyone* should decide for themselves when to have sex, but although of course the final choice is for each woman, maybe you should still think about gender roles and all."

*Of course she doesn't mean minors.

I do on the whole think women have a harder time in life, but on this issue I think there is a bigger picture to consider.

All too often in a hetero marriage:

180 -- number of days with sex out of a year if it was totally up to man
12 -- number of days with sex if it was totally up to woman
13 -- actual number of days with sex

Yeah, yeah, of course sex only makes sense when both people consent. But I also think there's kind of a market at work. You can set whatever standards you want, but if you don't compromise a bit you won't find or keep a partner.