"since the need to abstain is supposed to be universally shared."

The difference here is whether you presume that sexual desire is irresistible without a concerted effort and eternal vigilance.

I can't speak as an insider to the homosexual perspective. But I can speak as a teleio-hetero AND a GLer.

So since you think in stereotypes, let me appeal to your notions of an orientation which doesn't conform to a "rapist stereotype."

Because I'm hetero, must I be eternally vigilant against some impulse to rape? Did the idea not to rape have to be introduced to me from outside?

Now lets invert it a little. If I want to prevent rape do I find some Hetero dating board on the presumption that a hetero-rapist will check in from time to time?

Further, lets presume that some GLer out there has only encountered society's message. And that stumbling across GC here is the first time they've heard anything contrary. Why do you presume that they would think that adult/child sex in our society is OK? Is that really the baggage that folks bring to GC? Have you EVER seen anyone bring that as societal baggage to GC?

Promoting the notion that we arrive here as ticking time bombs who are oblivious to the harm that may befall our loves runs counter to the work you claim to be doing with VirPed.

But this is why VirPed will fail. It has sacrificed dialogue with Peds and Nons in order to raise-up Anti talking-points. By choosing to converse with the Antis it validates their concerns and continually demonstrates that we are but one vigilant thought away from rape, or that left to our own devices we will engage in cognitive distortions that rationalize adult-child sex in violation of the law.

VirPed is one massive self-admission that the risks its members pose are too great to allow them to go on self-medicating.

It is inevitable that some people in voluntary treatment programs for an addiction or compulsion will relapse. So, if statutory rape is unacceptable and VirPed promotes an avoidance-based-model patterned on the need for vigilance and constant "affirmations" then VirPed admits that some of its members will commit statutory rape. It admits that the treatment of these members cannot be conducted on a voluntary basis.

I don't buy this for a moment.

I believe that "abstinence" is the cosmic background radiation. The problem is not that society's message promotes adult/child sex: it doesn't. Its that its message to abstain is delivered along with lies and propaganda. And that a Ped rejecting the lies might accidentally reject the valid parts too. This is why I oppose you trying to tie abstention to misinformation and slurs. I don't want your constant negativity and hostility at GC to drive some of the more hotheaded types to oppose the portions of your message that coincidentally arrive at valid conclusions ( even if for the wrong reasons. )

Since "abstinence" is the baggage, rationalizations for adult/child sex being good at present are rarer than sasquatch sitings hereabouts. When they arise they are countered. But we don't use GC to introduce people to "cognitive distortions" they probably would not otherwise encounter.

And in not discussing thoughts which aren't our own, we don't provide the Antis with the belief that we need these discussions because we are just one discussion away from acting out.

Our goal is to serve those in our community. Not to appease the Antis by endorsing their distortions and then protesting them.

The NAACP didn't get where it did by reminding its men to not rape white women.

VirPed has sacrificed the convo with Peds and Nons that B4UACT is having. And by restricting its own community from speculating about possible progress on certain fronts it has sacrificed the idea of being an open forum.

Fortunately you DON'T speak for GC. Most of us are not one affirmation away from rape.

Dante