I've been told that most everyone here knows this, but for the newbies, it has to be said. Taking out your penis in public is a bad thing to do. Bad, bad, bad! But worse yet is public masturbation. I know we've all been tempted to flash our hogs at the bus stop or wave our willies in the park, but please think twice before doing it, because you could cause a lot of harm.

Kids might see your little turtle head peaking out of its shell (if you're circumsized) or your funny little anteater flopping about (if you're uncircumsized), and they will be forever ruined by that sight! They may never be able to take the mighty penis seriously again. Can you imagine what they might do to their sex lives later?

Yes, I know every pedo struggles with the temptation to unzip his fly and let his man meat loose in front of total strangers, and worse: to jack it right then and there, but please, in the name of all that is holy and pure, DON'T DO IT!

You might find this to be unfair, but unfortunately right now public masturbation is a big taboo and you don't know what precious little eyes may be watching and suppressing a giggle. Besides, everyone here is absolutely against letting the one-eyed midget frolic in the sun, and especially with rubbing it down, so you know my advice is legit. ;)