"But I can't keep saying no anymore. I can't keep denying myself the love and affection I desire more than life itself."

Love and affection without repercussions is the fantasy. Unfortunately its not the reality. Even if she were OK and happy with the aftermath the danger of someone else using this to destroy her life is too great.

If its wonderful why wouldn't she want to brag; girls do. and their bragging tends to be overheard by others who may come to VERY different conclusions. All it takes is one call to the cops to bring it all crashing down.

Do you want her held down while some doctor forcibly inserts a rape-kit to collect samples?

Those who hate us would like to condition us so that everytime we look into her eyes and think of the possibility of making love we see only her fear and suffering. They have; but only through their willingness to destroy her.

My former AGF and I had a lot of "I wish I could do X conversations." The frustration was there for both of us. But she loved me too much to be the instrument of my doom, and I loved her too much to subject her to their cruelties.

You could do as some here have; choose to interact with girls socially, but never allow a situation where you're alone with her.

Further, I think its important that you don't assume that everything which seems enticing was meant to be seductive. Or that if it was seductive that it was meant literally.

Some LGs know what they want. Others are just very physically affectionate. And an LG crawling all over you is sure to arouse even if you're just a piece of playground equipment to her.

But the middle area is the toughest. Girls and boys need to play with power fantasies. They need to exercise their powers in a safe environment and play around with things which both excite and frighten them.

The Pedophile who will restrain himself is the perfect sounding-board for these trial-runs. Unlike the general population he recognizes the sexual charm she's wielding. And since most girls who are entering puberty crush on adults, your arousal is proof of her charms in a way that a pubertal boy's might not be.

But take it from me, they tend to run hot and cold. Sometimes they want to try it out, sometimes they wish they could turn back the clock to when guys weren't ogling their cleavage. And its at this vacillation stage that we must remind ourselves that sometimes flirting is just flirting.

The term "cock-tease" is used by misogynists. But the truth is that not every bit of arousal ( even the intended kind ) is meant to lead on. We must respect that she may be trying to test her powers and turn the charm on and off ( no matter how frustrating it is for the light switch. )

You seem to be externalizing most of your choices and turning yourself into a puppet. Please try to take more control of your life. You can try to make your life more balanced by choosing hobbies and hangouts without children. You can spend more time with childless friends.

Suicide is almost always a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If children make your life better, then you already know that you would never start down the path that pushes a girl into harm's way. And it seems to me that there are ways to restore a balance to your life. Suicide takes determination and resolve. Channel that determination to alter your life's path into a renewal within life.

Dante